the jobless creatives will revolt!

thanks to my better half for the fodder for this post. if you're at all familiar with craigslist, you will know that of late, many companies are seeking creatives with OUTSTANDING backgrounds at TOP agencies for basically LITTLE or NO pay.

well, look read below what turned up today. read it first and then read this the second item below. keep scanning for more parodies. i love creatives. i take it all back. i love my industry. (and if they are since they were taken down by craigslist, as i promised i posted the copy here.)

and after reading that check this out. it explains a lot about my mood.

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update: the revolution has begun! subscribe to the empowered artists network here.

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the post that started it all:

re: designers - uncreative circle/artists revolt!
wow - another insulting post with no compensation! this is getting to be a daily occurence on our beloved craig's list. today's post is from a "top fortune 100 company" demanding a top print designer with corporate experience, extensive (& expensive) art school background, knowledge of all design programs (which are not listed because they have no clue what they are), and all for the salary of $9.96 an hour - but don't be offended craig's list artists! we're in a buyer's market and that's why they're in business (?!?). it's not their fault their ceo's year end bonus exceed a couple million every year and they only have $10 an hour for the creatives doing all the work.

they only wish to hear from folks who will work for this pay, so artists, do us all a favor and don't reply! demand adequate compensation! i think it's time to post a list of guidelines for creative's rates on craig's list - and let's forward it along to all these low ballin' companies while we're at it! i'm sick and tired of this low balling bullshit and clearly, you are too. thanks to everyone who sent me an email re: "professional photographer needed asap! craig's list special!!!". joke or not, this is a serious issue and it's time we all get together and demand to be paid what we are worth!

here are just a handful of your thoughtful comments:

"thanks for taking a little time to spread the word !!!"

"im glad you said something, its soooo not worth looking at craigs anymore."

"thanks for posting that. i wrote them directly and logged my complaint. however i take a little comfort in knowing that any photographer willing to work for that amount, most likely creates terrible images."

"right on! do you know how long it would take to earn enough at $8/hr to pay for the kind of equipment they want the photographer to have, even if they had no other expenses? years and years! if they got anyone with that equipment to work for that price, i would suspect the equipment was stolen!"

"i don't know who you are, but thank you for saying what all of us are thinking. i thought it was just me, but i'm glad others are equally insulted....i am a professional creative director/graphic designer who last year left a $70k a year job to freelance and get some experience in other areas of the design field. for the past several months i have been perusing the classified ads on craigslist (and others) and have noticed that the majority of companies posting ads (and i'm not talking about start-up companies with no money, i'm talking about established companies) want people with years of experience in print and web design, proficiency in a variety of softwares, and "spectacular" portfolios...and they are offering as little as 8 dollars an hour. are you freakin kidding me?? this is insulting. i have already lowered my salary standards because the job market is so tough, but $8 an hour?? when are these company execs going to realize that graphic/web design is a skilled trade and should be paid accordingly? as tough as the job market is, i refuse to work for the same money i made in college. fucking ridiculous!! again, thanks for exposing these assholes."

"excellent posting. i've posted similar announcements myself. i have no idea who takes these jobs but they're killing the fee structure on craig's list if not in the entire industry."

"i couldn't agree more..i am a graphic designer who gets $45.00 hr. but constantly see ads for $10-12 hr or less!!! starbucks pays more than that! i have written back ads and told them to quit insulting us with their lowball offers. (i used the starbucks line on them informing them that unskilled labor can make more than their offers!!) l.a. is so damn competetive...i'm sure people take their lame offers..disgusting! keep busting their ads and so will i!!! disgusted in sherman oaks"

"thanks! you've said what i've been thinking about all along regarding a growing number of these postings...it's the same problem looking for a graphic design job. it's insulting that both “ bargain basement posters” and “creative whores” out there are making it harder for the rest of us in these tough times. i don't know why i waste my time looking...i hope more posts like yours will get through to those people. the craigslist job board is a joke... from: not amused"

thank you and stick to your guns, craig's list!

the inadvertent artists' activist

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and just one of the parody posts:

receptionist/administrative assistant/assistant designer
world-renowned graphic design firm in beverly hills with big-time clients seeks outstanding receptionist/administrative assistant/assistant designer. this position needs to be filled immediately, as we just fired the previous holder of this position this morning for playing computer solitaire during downtimes. this is a great opportunity for the right candidate, with plenty of room for advancement in our graphic design firm. the person who held this position before the person who we fired started in 2001 was recently promoted to secretary.

duties:
- make coffee, fetch donuts, order lunch, prepare snacks, stock refrigerator with beverages, change water in water cooler.
- heavy phones. we currently have 23 lines and will be adding another 10 in a couple weeks. there are only 19 employees here and we do not provide them with direct lines nor voicemail. most of them don’t have cell phones, so they get a lot of personal calls. you will be responsible for taking messages, and later reenacting them, with exact inflection, when they are unavailable. we also do not have a paging system, so you will need to scramble to each person’s desk, or find them in the bathroom, break room, parking lot, etc., in order to notify them of their phone call.
- filing, scheduling, ordering office supplies, photocopying, faxing, sweeping, dusting, vacuuming, mopping, and anything else we demand of you.
- light brochure and pamphlet design as needed.
- veterinarian visits. you must not be afraid of reptiles as we have an office gila monster pet, gizzy, who has free roam of the building. gizzy will need to be taken in periodically for neutering, teeth cleaning, vaccinations, smog tests, x-rays, nail cleaning, prescription tranquilizer refills, grooming, contact lens fittings, and other routine check-ups.

skills/job requirements:
- exhaustive knowledge of all hewlett-packard, epson, canon, and lexmark printers. we want someone who can truly bore us with how much they know about printers.
- high level of proficiency in ms office, photoshop, illustrator, dreamweaver, html, java, mac, windows, premiere, final cut, avid, quickbooks, lotus notes, peachtree, maya, lightwave, 3d studio max, internet explorer, itunes, netscape navigator and communicator, after effects, limewire, aim, icq, yahoo! messenger, msn messenger, wordperfect, poser, filemaker pro, director, flash, fireworks, indesign, quark, fontographer, powerpoint, wordperfect, outlook, and fetch. we will test you in all of these.
- ability to do basic math functions: add, subtract, multiply, divide, square roots, hyperbolic functions, inverse cosine, pseudo-vehicular tangentrial post-equatic formulas.
- ability to stand in one place without having to shift your weight from foot to foot for 8+ hours straight.
- excellent command of north american english language, including southern, new england, and canadian dialects.
- reliable car. we would prefer a 4-door full-size sedan with ample leg room in front, back, and trunk, as you will need to give us rides home.

pay starts at $6.75/hour. you will be working anywhere from 5- 60 hours a week, depending on how well you do. you must be available at the drop of a hat. we prefer candidates without family, second jobs, pets, busy lives, and/or boyfriends/girlfriends to distract them from their work priorities. if you do have pets or children, we will assist you in finding an animal shelter or foster home to relieve you of those duties. overtime and benefits are not included, since your hours over the fiscal year will only average to about 18-23 hours/week. after your satisfactory 3-month review, you will receive a $0.11 raise, a tip jar, and a desk.

you must be a recent graduate (no one earlier than may 2003!) and must have at least a 4-year degree from a private college. we will not hire anyone who has spent less than $80,000 (not including books, software, computers, etc.) on their college education. college attended must have either the word "art" or "design" in its name. also must have stable work history (no more than 2 jobs, including part-time jobs, since you were 16). and yes, this includes babysitting, lawn mowing, and bussing tables. we will conduct a thorough background check (live-scan fingerprint, fbi, irs, elementary school records). anyone who has even received a checkmark by their name on the chalkboard will not be considered, so do not bother applying!

we will not accept walk-ins or phone calls regarding this position: your application will be shredded, burned, and then dissolved and drank in a glass of orange juice. we also will obtain your license plate number and/or trace your phone call, so that we may cross-reference your information in case we receive more applications from you. we will then have you blacklisted. the same goes for anyone applying for a position other than what we have listed here.

please send a concise, yet detailed cover letter outlining your skills and qualifications, along with your resume, as text in the body of the email. we can not stress this enough: do not send us any attachments. emails with attachments will be marked as "spam" and deleted immediately after we file away your information for our blacklist.

compensation: $6.75/hr to start. after satisfactory 3-month review, you will receive $0.11 raise, tip jar, and desk.