my head weighs 20 pounds.

when i'm sick two things happen inevitably: i get extraordinarily irrational and i overreact to everything. some may even say i get dramatic. well, it's happened again. my first cold/flu of the season has brought me to crankfactor 5, a bedroom tantrum because my nose didn't work (have you ever tried to sleep sitting up?) and a 20-pound head.

and i've realized that my marriage is completely susceptible to an affair because i am most decidedly not interesting.

because i couldn't sleep and i didn't want to subject my husband to my irrational, dramatic overreactions, i figured i better just be by myself and surf. msn posted the enticing question, "is your marriage ripe for an affair?" after reading the list of what not to dos, i realize now that i need to get a life (caveat: you know i'm sick if i'm buying into this drivel). not only will i be more independent, but i'll be more interesting to my husband and he'll be less likely to stray. personally, i don't think he's going to stray because who else can explode in an instant due to a head cold like me? nothing else says "i love you" or "i am interesting" than that. right? plus, i've gone through two boxes of ultra-soft tissues in less than 24 hours. now that's charming.

of course, now my mind is spinning with: "hm. it has been seven years and there was that marilyn monroe movie about that." "i'm not working so does that mean i'm not interesting?" "do i ask him questions about his day playfully?" "do i seem like i have a life?" shit. as if i wasn't stuck (or sick) enough as it is. now i have to worry about affair-proofing because i'm totally lost and have no direction in my life. super. so i ask him if i'm boring. he says he's not answering that kind of question because i get all emotinal when i'm sick.

and on top of all of this, i'm breaking out because of the upper lip wax i was given by the former cheerleader at my local salon. i knew there was something awfully telling about her level of perkiness.

and don't you hate when you can't sneeze and you have to?

and searching through my bloglines peeps, all i find is how crafty everyone is and how talented and how richly they live and blah blah blah. can't anyone just be boring like me?

and my beloved dog is still at my mom's and i can't pick her up because i'm sick. ugh.

i can't figure out christmas cards either. i'm not crafty. i'm not creative. and i'm not cheerful.

anyway, i've done everything i possibly can to alleviate my cold. i've run through all my natural healing books (can't take any over-the-counter cold medicine) and tried pretty much everything. i even tried to look at this positively: "this is my body detoxifying itself." no luck.

so when i threw my tantrum, my husband did what any husband would do: he gave me a soma so that i would shut up and go to sleep already.

see? he's not going anywhere. he still wants to drug me.