why i love page six-six-six.

it's because of gems like these:

paris hilton is maintaining a stony silence over her portrayal in "south park" as a "stupid spoiled whore" whose pets are driven to suicide. the episode opens with paris' chihuahua, tinkerbelle, removing a pistol from the chauffeur's pocket, putting the muzzle in her tiny mouth and using a hind leg to pull the trigger and blow her brains out. it ends with a heartfelt speech from the leather-clad mr. slave character chastising parents for allowing paris hilton to be a role model for their little girls. we thought paris and her mother, kathy hilton, would be eager to respond to the show's acid-penned creators, matt stone and trey parker, but repeated calls were not returned.— page six.

i've got to watch that "south park" episode. i've just got to.

and while we're on the topic and i'm shedding any and all pieces of dignity in your eyes i may have had before this post, here are my top four gossip sites (and yes, i read them everyday):

• gawker
• hello!
• the daily dish!
• british glamour daily gossip