i have questions.

i walk a lot each day and i have mucho experience with my likeminded compatriots. i have questions for them:

• do you have to hawk a loogie while running? is this a law or something?
• dude. if your shorts are that short and your chest is that bare, why don't you just run naked?
• why, oh why, must you sing along with your ipod while running?
• do you realize no one cares if your front gardener is communicating with your back gardener? or that your maid must be reminded to wash the whites with whites and the darks with darks?
• heads-up: do you think it's proper etiquette to pet my dog whilst there's sweat dripping from your body into her adorable eyes?

ps cyclists: i hate you, you obnoxious bunch you. sure, i'll get out of your way if you stop at the stop signs while i'm driving next to you.