time warner, how do i loathe thee?

let me count the ways.

i have spent four hours on hold with you.
i have a spotty internet connection.
i have a "upgraded" to a dvr that does not record.
i have a cable guide with no program listings.
i have an "earliest available" service appointment scheduled for next week.

i have switched.

goodbye.

(if i were less cranky, i may have tried this post as a sonnet. at least this made me feel better.)